Commencement 2022: How and Why, The Most Important Questions for Today’s Grads

Last time our heroes gathered, it was 2020. My oldest daughter Kamila was graduating from college, but all ceremonies were canceled due to COVID. I was sad for Kamila, but I was also angry that spring for being denied a critical right of parental passage – seeing my daughter walk across the stage and accept her diploma as the culmination of her college career.

This year, we are becoming reacquainted with Pomp and Circumstance once more as two more of my children are wrapping up their studies at Arizona State University. In the spirit of commencement addresses everywhere, let’s examine this moment of transition together. Let’s get into the hows and whys and take a look at gratitude as a defining characteristic of real character. But first, Karissa and Jorge …

How We Got Here

Karissa’s and Jorge’s path to graduation has been more entertaining than Kamila’s. Both journeys were filled with excitement right to the end. Both Karissa and Jorge have learned a great deal these past few years, and we have learned from them.

Six years ago, Jorge was a skinny kid who wasn’t 100% sure he would graduate from high school. Jorge joined our family when he was 16ish, so we missed a few early chapters but have been so proud to share in these adventures since 2015. From the start of our journey together, things were always possible for Jorge. With hard work and determination, he got into Mount San Antonio College (SAC). He then managed to get into Arizona State University (ASU). When he tried out for cheer at Mount SAC, he could not come close to lifting his stunt partner. But by his senior year at ASU—once again through hard work—he was the last man standing with his stunt partner (elevated on one arm!) in the annual contest with University of Arizona. With graduation on the horizon, Jorge has now set his sights on becoming an officer in the United States Army. If that means more hard work, I’d say that’s proof that it’s going to happen.

With Karissa, we had a lifetime of learning by the time she was three years old. She, too, is extraordinary in getting what she wants. Things she was refused by her parents these last four years include a car, a single apartment and a dog—all of which she managed to get. She also has some genetic traits that may have passed to her from her father. She is confident yet humbled by her shortcomings. What she decides to do she does with spectacular care and produces masterpieces, but she decides to do things in all the wrong order. She is cutting and critical but does not tolerate others who take advantage of people who cannot adequately defend themselves. All of these are traits that will contribute to her legacy in life—because she’s sure to make her mark.

As the class of 2022 begin their next chapter, I am fully aware of what this celebration means. I am thrilled for the wonderful life ahead for Karissa and Jorge, and like many parents, I’m also shedding a tear for the memories we’ve created and the moments that have passed.

The Importance of Why and How

While some graduating classes have entered the world facing menacing threats from abroad or insufficient economic opportunities at home, this year’s class seems to be facing a more daunting crisis, a crisis of prosperity. This is a generation inheriting great prosperity and suffering from character gaps widened by the petty squabbles of the preceding generation.

There seems to be a constant Sirens’ song to take more from the public treasury. And the song the Sirens sing suggests that a person is entitled to take ever increasing helpings of the “what,” as in “what’s in it for me.” It is a song of limited accountability and selfishness. In the oft chanted lyrics of the song, we hear a new bill of “fundamental” rights that includes:

• Free health care
• Free education
• Freedom from economic uncertainty
• Freedom from encountering anything offensive

The wish list is extensive. It is rarely accompanied by a discourse on “why,” or “how.” And this is the great tragedy of the 2022 fundamentalists. In omitting the “why” and the “how,” they rob the class of 2022 of two of the most exciting words your brain will ever encounter.

Author and motivational speaker Simon Sinek presents the case for the why and how in a number of vignettes. My favorite is the comparison of Samuel Pierpont Langley to the Wright brothers. In the pursuit of manned flight, Langley had massive advantages in the race to fly the first machine. He had an extraordinarily well-educated staff and millions of dollars (adjusted for 2022) in grants from the U.S. government. The Wright brothers had no money and a team without a single college grad. Langley’s team was clear on their mission. They would succeed because they were entitled to, and they would get rich in the process. Langley embraced the “what.” The Wright brothers were also clear; they believed. They believed in the power to do good in this world by solving the conundrum of manned flight. They were crazy excited by finding the way and inspired their team to work tirelessly on that dream. They embraced the why and the how.

On December 17, 1903, the Wright brothers flew. That very day, Langley quit and disbanded his team.

Expressing Gratitude: Glad To Be Here

Eighty-five years after that first manned flight, my friend John Foley became a Blue Angel. The Blues are the world’s most elite pilots, performing with precision what the Wright brothers could not have imagined possible. With each flying event the Blues start with a brief, then fly the mission, then do a debrief.  During the brief and debrief sessions, each pilot speaks and begins or ends their section with these words: “Glad to be here.”

Why? Because gratitude is at the core of real character. Because gratitude inspires “why.” Because gratitude leads to the how which ultimate fosters a spirit of giving. Focus on the “what” fosters a focus on taking. People who are grateful are happy. People who focus on what is in it for them are unhappy. Period.

This Is Your Time

This is your time class of 2022. I want you to get excited about the why and how. I want you to feel the grace of God and be glad to be here. I want you to be happy. Truth is, we all need you to be happy.

President Woodrow Wilson once said that every graduate sent out from a university should be a (person) of his nation as well as a (person) of his time. As a nation, as a society, we count on young leaders to take up the mantle of their times. These are your times, your nation. You are being called upon to take the knowledge you have of yourself, the knowledge you will acquire of your world and to act instinctively to make the world a wee bit better.

Know yourself. Know the world. Act on instinct.  Ask how and why, and use these questions to inspire your action. And most importantly, be glad to be here.

God bless the class of 2022!